I am going to teach you how to set your mind for success, as I have done...
First, I would like you to think about why you do the things you do in your life. You choose to watch this video because you want to be happy; you choose to skip this video because you want to be happy. You choose to exercise because you want to be happy. You choose not to exercise because you want to be happy. You choose to get married because you want to be happy; you choose to stay single because you want to be happy. We search for pleasure and we run away from pain and we perceive pleasure as happiness and pain as suffering. So if you want to be successful in something, you need to understand that you need to set up your mind for success by learning how to differentiate real results from pleasure.
Now let's talk about some statistics…
There is one divorce every 36 seconds, which turns into 876,000 divorces a year. Ninety Five percent of the people who choose a weight loss program end up dropping that program and Ninety Five percent regain the weight within two years. That means that only 1 person out of 400 lose that weight and keep it off. So if we transfer that to business, 8 out of 10 businesses close their doors within two years and only 1% of Americans are rich and 5% are financially independent. That tells you that only a small percentage can get those results.
What is it about that small percentage? Well, the truth is that they actually have special genes, they are like Superman, like Batman, like Captain America; they come from another planet; they are special people. No, I'm just kidding! I hope you don't believe that because if you do you won't do anything for yourself. You may think that your life is what it is and can’t change it.
The reality is that this small percentage of people absolutely know what they want and they have set their minds for success...
I'm going to illustrate that for you. I have a client that started coming to us a couple months ago. In those months she has had good results but not great results. She was successful in some areas and not in other areas. So, what was going on? Every time that someone hires us, I go through assessments and follow ups with them. We do this often to find out what our clients are doing great and how they can improve. Identify the things they are doing wrong, so they can change it. So, this particular client I have, tells me that she loved to exercise but that her problem was dinner at night; she was choosing the wrong food.
So, I asked her, "Why do you love to exercise so much?”
She told me, “Well, I love to exercise because I think of a couple of things, I think about how great I feel when I'm finished and how it helps get rid of stress and gives me a lot of energy throughout the day. I know my body is transforming and I'm losing weight. So, I love that part of it.”
I said, “Perfect, I think you do amazing in that area as well.” As we continued to talk, she was telling me about her dinner routine. She told me that when she gets home, she is tired and all she wants to do is eat. She doesn’t want to wash and cook veggies, to take time for the food to cook and then time to wash the dishes. It's just a lot of things that she has to do, to serve herself and sit at the table, etc. It's easier for me to grab something that’s already made or some cereal.” She knows that processed foods and ultra-processed foods contribute to weight gain and other things such as diseases. But the problem is that she hasn't set up her mind for success.
So, I thought, let's go back to exercise and talk about it. “I want you to be honest with your answers. Does exercise make you sore?”
She said, “Yes, exercise makes me sore the next day.”
“Your muscles, are they burning?”
She said, “Yes.”
“What about lifting weights, is it easy, especially with me pushing you?”
She said, “No, it's actually very difficult.”
“When you exercise, do you sweat? Does your heart rate increase and do you get tired and does it take an hour out of your day?”
She was responding “Yes,” to all these questions.
“So can we conclude the exercise is painful?”
She said “Yes.”
“So why are you successful with your exercise?”
And she said, “Because I think about all the good things that will come from doing it, not how hard it is.”
“So, if you think about the negative things, you probably won’t even finish the hour. You'll be suffering and be miserable.” She agreed, and I said, “That's exactly what you're doing with your eating when you come home; you feel tired and you focus on the negative. How hard it is to prepare food, how much time it's going to take.” “What you can do is prepare your mind for it. Which is the same thing that you do with exercise. Instead of thinking about how difficult it is, think about the results that you're going to get. What about avoiding disease? What about having a clear mind? What about having a good digestive system? What about having energy and what about losing an extra 5lbs a month? Right there with that extra 5 lbs a month that you lose should be enough motivation. I’ve given you a lot more reasons why you need to prepare your foods at home and continue moving forward.”
She said, “I never thought about it that way; I never thought I was setting myself up for failure.”
I said, “That's correct, so now you need to think about the positive not the negative.”
So, right now, I want you to look around and notice the color green. When you focus on green, you can find it all around you. Now you weren't thinking about red or black. The reason why is because I asked you to look for green and that's what your mind was focusing on and that's how it would work. Here is a great example. When I go to sleep, I can't sleep with socks or underwear. I have to go completely naked in order to sleep. If not, all night I will be focusing on my socks and underwear and won’t be able to sleep. But why doesn't it bother me during the day? Because I have too many other things that I have to think about and focus on, walking, preparing my breakfast, my exercise routine, assisting my clients and all my goals etc. I don't care about my socks or my underwear. But once the night hits and I'm ready to go to bed my brain focuses on it.
Here is another great example, let's say you have been waiting for a great show or great football game or whatever on TV you've been waiting for a long time. Unexpectedly, you have to change your plans, you have to go to a dinner because your boss asks you and you go all angry, because you would rather be somewhere else. You get to the restaurant and the first thing you do is you focus on all the negatives that you're going to find because you have already made up your mind to be negative. The food is cold or too salty, the lights are too dim, too crowded. You've already made up your mind.
But what about if you're going with the woman or man of your dreams. Your first date. It doesn’t matter what restaurant you go to or if the atmosphere is not great ,maybe the food is not that great, but you don’t care because you are focusing on the positive. Remember whatever you focus on is what you are going to feel. So my point is that you are always going to find something positive and negative about everything in life.
Bad habits have good things and bad things about them…
Drinking is a great example. If you focus on the good things about it such as the good mood you get when you drink; you are less inhibited; you don’t feel as stressed. So that can cause you to drink more often because you are focusing on the good things about it. But what if you focus on all the bad consequences that come from drinking. It can lead to bad relationships or divorces, DUI’s, car accidents and all the mistakes and bad decisions you make when under the influence of alcohol. So when you focus on that, you’ll be less likely to drink alcohol. To me, the negatives are more important than the positives. That’s why I don't drink and I am not judging you if you do, I'm just using it as an example.
The same with exercising. If you decide not to exercise, there are positives; you don't have to deal with sore burning muscles, exerting yourself, sweating, finding an hour out of your busy day. But at the same time you're not going to get the benefits of having a nice body, losing weight, having more energy, being independent, fitting into your clothes, feeling more confident, etcetera. So, think about it. Next time that you want to do something and you want to be very successful, you have to set up your mind and you have to train your mind. It’s not going to happen the first day and the first week might be a little bit. But remember you have neural connections. The beginning, those neural connections of your new behavior can break easily. They don’t have a strong connection yet. But as you continue practicing your new behavior, your connections will become stronger. So if you want to succeed in whatever it is in life, your weight loss, your relationships, your business or finances, remember that you want to set your mind up for success and this is the way to do it.