I have a friend who is an alcoholic. I have tried to help him overcome his alcoholism by guiding him to the right treatment. I am not the only one who has tried. His family has put a lot of time and effort in helping him as well. However, we haven’t had any luck.
The other day I was talking to him over the phone about his issues and as I was listening to his problems, he mentioned that his life is hard on him. I told him that life is not easy for any of us and I set many examples. He said that life should be easy for him. I replied by saying according to who? He said that life should be easy because he says so. I told him that he is lying to himself and this is one of the reasons why he can’t live reality and he decides to drink. Things are not as you want them to be but as they are. Period.
Accepting reality and knowing that things are not how we want them to be is a sign of maturity that allows having inner peace...
I also told him that life is difficult because of the bad decisions he has made. I mentioned that if he wanted his life to improve, he needed to make better decisions, to which he replied that making good choices is difficult.
And here is where I got to explain to him that everything is difficult depending what type of life he wants to live.
It is difficult to be an alcoholic- a slave of the vice, but is it also difficult to be sober enjoying the benefits of a functional individual. It is difficult to be overweight for many reasons, but it is also difficult being in shape enjoying the benefits of being healthy. It is difficult to be a serving of our emotions, but it is also difficult to control our emotions making better decisions. It is difficult not to think and let others lead us to their motives, but it is also difficult to think and achieve our goals and be vigilant of our freedom.
Last thing I remember my friend mentioning was the excuse that he had a dual personality which I questioned if he thinks he is special. He said no. There is the answer, you are not special. Everyone has this dual personality. Your negative personality might be stronger because that is what you are fed the most.
I also have a dual personality. I fight with myself every day...
But I have fed the positive side of me that my positive side usually wins.
I noticed many contradictions he was telling himself and pointed those out. I think no one had spent the time pointing out his contradictions.
I often do this with our members at Custom Body Fitness. The reason I do that is not because I don’t want them to like me. I want them to think and find out that the story they are telling themselves is simply a limitation that allows them to stay in their comfort zone, not achieving their goals and living a fulfilling life.
I wish for everyone to be genuinely happy. I wish for everyone to release all of their potential...
making this a better valley, society, country and world. I think we all have been born to do that. We are not here to live meaningless wandering to all kinds of directions being slaves of human pleasures. I think we are here to help one another and that will give us the freedom we all are looking for.
We all have our dark days where we were mentally, physically or sexually abused. Life has been unfair to many of us. People born without arms, legs, sight and you named it. Other people are given to adoption. Many other people are being exploited. Others do not have the same opportunities as many others have. I get that and many of us know that.
But that is not an excuse to improve our lives and become better. Our past does not need to be our present or future. Our past does not need to make our present bitter. Our past is not to blame for our present circumstances. Our limitations are not to blame for our mood or our achievements. Life in the present is simply life and there is no other moment that is vividly true than the present...
You create your present and your future by the decisions you decide to make right now.
Nothing will improve if you make excuses that are true...
Maybe you are poor and don’t have money to invest, but that is not a limitation for you to invest. Maybe you have been sexually abused and you are angry about it, but that is not an excuse for you to become an alcoholic and not heal from your traumas. Maybe you have been fed junk food when you were a child, but that is not an excuse to change your health right now.
Your Present Is The Result of Your Past Choices...
Focusing on your excuses will make your life difficult because you always will have limitations. Focusing on overcoming obstacles will be difficult, but you will enjoy the harvest of your hard effort and achieve your goals.
Everything is about the decisions you make every second, minute, hour, day, month and year. You have control over your decisions. What you could be experiencing now are the results of your past choices. So if you want different results, start making different decisions.