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Are You Making Wrong Decisions to Be Accepted?

Updated: Sep 25, 2023

My life has been great since I change the way I perceive the world...

I am in a better economical, mental, health, spiritual and physical conditions than I was before. I have achieved many of my goals I never dream when I was very poor and lost in society. But what I think what really matters is that I learned how to handle life.

Maslow’s Hierarchy.

One concept that taught me how life works was the Maslow’s Hierarchy.

The levels I discovered in this hierarchy are the four basic levels: physical, security, acceptance and material. Then we have the four levels of superior awareness: learning, teaching, caring and purpose.

I have detaily explained these levels in my book Finding Genuine Happiness. I recommend you to buy it if you like to know more about these levels. Today I am going to mention and focus on acceptance.

It is true that being rejected can put us in state of depression. We'll do, in many cases, anything to be accepted by our peers or those people who we care about. Many teens start their sexual practice in an early age because of acceptance. Other people will hurt others to be accepted by their peers as well. I have heard many crazy stories of people beating and killing to be accepted by a gang.

Now at days many women are doing almost making any decision to be accepted by others...

such as liposuction, breast and gluteus implants, facial surgery, lips injections and other body surgeries.

My point here is that being accepted is a psychological need for us to be happy. Nevertheless, many of us got it wrong. We want everyone to accept us and the truth is that we think we are not enough to be accepted and we do things without weighing the future consequences.

To be able to be happy and stop looking for others acceptance is by accepting ourselves first...

I understand that this is not a simple task.

When I was not happy with myself I remember trying to grow muscle to impress others. My peers used to make comments about me being small even though I was lifting weights. It would get me. When I used to see some other guy bigger than me, I used to feel inadequate. The Same I felt when someone was driving a better car than I was driving.

Sandro Torres talking in a conference

And when I was a teenage I did many wrong things to be accepted by my peers. I am so happy I did not end up in a bad situation where there is no coming back.

I can only imagine how women may feel for not having other woman hips, breast, lips and so on. I was ready to take some steroids and get into the wrong path, but honestly I never had the opportunity to buy them.

Later in life I learned that the reason why I felt like that it was because I was not happy with whom I am...

And it would never be enough and I would always find a defect in me, until I change my way of thinking. I learned that I was perfect the way I was and all I needed to do was my best improve myself and just be me. I accepted myself. That was the key to stop trying to better than the other guys and I started to work on me because I could be better than the yesterday Sandro.

You are not better or worse because someone else has bigger breast, or bigger hips, or a better car or they are taller, or stronger or more successful because you don’t have to be them. You have your virtues and your journey. They have their virtues and their journeys.

Yes, they might be more financial successful because they know more or they started earlier. That is their achievements. You might be stronger than others because you started before than them or you are more discipline. That is your achievement.

Woman relaxing on grass

Maybe that woman has bigger hips and breast and lips, but you are taller and skinnier. Maybe she is more into material things and you are more into caring about your family. Maybe she is more about night clubs and you are more about gathering the family. Maybe she is more about traveling alone and you are more about taking family trips.

Whatever she is into, she will have her followers and she will attract that energy. But you are into other things and you will attract your own people and energy. This is not about right or wrong. This is about being you and be happy with who you are. This is about learning to accept yourself and not making decisions to be accepted by others only because society is making you think you must fit into it.

I am not saying that you should be a conformist...

I am saying that you should work hard for what you want and like and e be the best version of yourself knowing the different between becoming a better you and trying to be someone else.

This is about your life. Don’t be dogmatic and trying to live a life of lies and trying to be someone else because then you won’t be living your life, you will be living someone else life that you will never be able to fulfill.

When you learn to accept yourself, your self confidence will increase and no one can come and make you doubt about your virtues and weaknesses. You will live a happier life and that makes you unique and different.



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