Kim just started her weight loss program...
She is committed to 3 weight lifting sessions a week, 3 days of hiking a week and to start eating healthy.
Kim is into her first two weeks and she is ready to quit.
“Sandro, I have a couple questions to ask. Do you have time?”
“What is going on?”
“This is not for me. It is hard to lift weights and be at everyone else’s fitness level. I feel like I would never catch up and I get frustrated. I am very sore and I don’t want to feel like that all the time. I have not been following the eating plan we have created. I have tried, but I go back to eating like before. This is not what I thought.”
“Yes, you are right. This is not easy but also is not impossible. Do you see all the people who you train with? They started just like you. They wanted to be in shape just like the others. But no one started being in shape.
All of our members started from the bottom. Remember, they took them time before they could do what they are doing right now. They were in your shoes before. The fact they can do better than you, according to you, right now does not mean that they could do it when they started. This is not about competition. This is about you taking your time and letting your body get in shape in its own time.
Of course you are sore. You have not exercised for years. But your soreness won’t be the same after these two weeks. It will be less painful and you will get used to it as well. You can’t just give up because you are sore for a couple of weeks.
About your eating, you are human. Yes, you are going to relapse and not be able to follow the whole eating plan. This is the reason why we have created small goals. It is okay to fail, but don’t focus on your failures. Tell me what have you been doing right these past two weeks?”
“Well, I still eat a lot at dinner because I skip lunch. But I have stopped drinking soda and I don’t stop by fast food restaurants. I drank a couple of alcoholic drinks this past weekend.”
“So you don’t drink soda anymore? What about breakfast?”
“There you have it. You are not perfect, but you have improved. Let those new habits take root in your life and then we can continue working on perfection, but don’t be so hard on you and think about quitting and go back to the same and gain more weight.”
“You are right, Sandro. I thought I was the only one struggling on this.”
“No, trust me the first two weeks are difficult and most people have the same issues as you do, Kim.”
I convinced Kim to continue with her weight loss program...
by letting her know that what she was experiencing is normal. Many times new members don’t have an idea that most people feel the same way the first two weeks of a weight loss program.
Two months have passed and Kim is now struggling with new issues.
“Sandro, I have a couple questions. May I talk to you when the session is over?”
“No problem.”
When the session was over, I approached Kim.
“What is happening, Kim?”
“I feel like I am not progressing. I don’t see much change in my body. I see other people lifting heavier weights than I am. I know you told me that I am not competing, but now it has been two months and I should be able to improve. Don’t you think so?”
“I think you are focusing too much on your outcome without being realistic with the results. What was the total percentage you lost last time I assessed you?”
“Four percent.”
“And how much fat and muscle that is?”
“So are you having results?”
“Yes, but I feel that is too little for two months.”
“Yes, you are maybe right. You could lose more than that, but that does not mean that your body is not changing. You lost 7 pounds of fat. Think about it for a moment.
Last time we talked in your assessment, you were able to make some changes in your eating. However, you were struggling with overeating at night because of you skipping lunch and also you were eating processed foods. To get better results, you need to make more changes. But that would happen as you develop new habits.
To me it sounds like great results what you have done...
Remember that you have been carrying this weight for years and the bad habits that you have created won’t go away overnight. You should focus on the changes you have made to get these results, as well as what else you are ready to change to get better results.”
“I think you are right. Sometimes I just get desperate.”
“That is another thing. But let’s talk about your weights before I conclude that. You are doing very well with your weight lifting. For you to be able to tone your butt, legs and arms, you need to continue increasing your weight lifting. However, your body will let you know when it is ready to go to the next level. Like I told you before, some of our members have been lifting weight for more than a year. It takes time to get strong.
With this in mind, what I am going to tell you next is very important. Many people quit because they think this is an overnight thing. They think results will come soon and think they will look good in a couple months; that is impossible. So the key here is to be patient and just do what you need to do every day and let results manifest in their own time.”
“Yea, that is difficult.”
“You are not the only impatient person. Many of us are. But you can learn to be patient and this is a requirement for you to succeed.”
“Okay, let’s see how I do next assessment.”
“These kinds of talks really help our members, like Kim. They do not know what to expect in a weight loss program. Now Kim has been coming over a year and she is finally looking as she dreamed. However, there are still doubts about other issues that she did not have before.”
“You are delivering good results and now you are at 20% body fat. That means that you lost 23% body fat which is 45 pounds of fat. Amazing! Talk to me about your experience, Kim?”
“You know, I changed my eating and now I am eating a lot of veggies, only drinking water and going to exercise 4 times a week. I feel very strong. But I want to talk to you about that. I feel like I am getting manly arms.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I don’t like my arms.”
“Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Your arms look toned and skinny.”
“Yes, but my friends are saying that my arms are manly and that I have lost a lot of weight and I don’t look good anymore.”
“Ohhh… so you are getting attacked?”
“They are my friends. I don’t think they are attacking me.”
“They are. Sometimes there are things that are hard to believe. Many of your friends and sometimes family members are jealous of you becoming a better person. They start feeling behind and they don’t want to feel behind. It is easier for them to pull you down by making you feel bad with such comments that are not true, so you stop progressing.
It is easier to make you feel bad than them getting out of their comfort zone and do the same thing you are doing to progress...
Any time you are progressing in your career, business, fitness, family or dream, people are going to come and criticize you to make you feel ashamed. Don’t listen to them because their goal is to make you quit. Instead of that, make sure you know what you want and stay grounded to your dream. Don’t let anyone come and make you feel bad. You are here to become a better person. You are not here to please people sacrificing your dreams. By the end, it is you who have control over how you feel.”
“So you don’t think I have manly arms?”
“It is not about what I think. Take a close and honest look at the mirror. Do you like what you see? Who are the people who praise you for how you look? Are they being honest or they want to make you feel good?
“I guess you are right. I always wanted to have toned arms and now that I have them, it makes me happy. But I let what my friends have to say get me.”
“One more thing I want to tell you and I think you should be good and strong in your weight loss program. Remember that life gets in the way and you find good days and hard days. Don’t stop doing what you are doing no matter how good life gets or how bad it gets. Good times and bad times don’t last forever. There are only cycles. Continue moving forward no matter the situation.”
This conversation I had with Kim, I have it with many members. Many times I make the mistake to think that new members know what to expect in a weight loss program. However, as they approach me, I take my time explaining to them what obstacles to expect and how to deal with such obstacles.
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